Where are you feeling stuck? What was the stability portion of that? And when did it shift?

BONUS ROUND!! Where do you feel that in your body? What is the direct experience of stuckness like? When we can connect with and physically feel these things that tend to live in our minds as details and thoughts, it can motivate us to make some changes. Stuck hurts. When I can care about that hurt it means that I care about myself. And when we truly care about ourselves we tend to take action to alleviate the pain in our lives.

It can be tough to steer you way out of the deeper patterns and grooves that we get locked into.

They’re well worn by time and repetition and though we can feel ourselves bump into the edges at times there’s a sense of tracking and familiarity there. The word groove can be positive or negative. I don’t think we have to blow that up necessarily- but I do think it’s worth it to ask if they’re really serving us. Are we seeing the ocean from a distance when we could be playing in the waves? Listening to the same song over and over? Are we settling for something that’s not really (or is no longer) satisfying?

I’m not suggesting that we need peak experiences 24-7. That would be exhausting and maintaining it would be a nightmare! But do you have the courage to ask the question?

I looked outside today- and saw the gray trudge ahead, thought of soggy shoes, damp clothes, frizzy hair— It’s May right? Not March! It didn’t exactly fire me up to go teach my class.

As I was walking over I realized how much mental and physical bandwidth I had been frittering away with the resistance. Tensing against the chill, feeling the tightness in my shoulders from that. It’s the weather- It’s not like I have a lot of control right?

Surrendering to the fact that “it’s like this: allowed me to let go of the struggle and just meet my day and the people in it with more ease and with all my resources. It’s still cold and wet but there’s no second arrow of struggle.

Clarifying questions can be powerful ways to get to the “thing under the thing”. Whatever “thing” I find myself wanting after- tangible of ephemeral- there’s something under it, a way I want to feel.

When I can get to that, there’s more clarity around how to proceed. Often times I’ll see that the felt sense I’m looking for doesn’t really need to come from the thing, but is available independently or from multiple sources. It’s actually available now.

Seeing that takes the pressure off “getting” the thing and a sense of freedom and play moves into the process. Creativity flows, I see doors that are open rather than the ones that are closed. It’s one frelection of the Freedom that we’re looking for. Not Freedom itself- but a signpost along the path.

If you’re used to the stick, why not try the carrot?

How does your fear protect itself? What stories do you rely on that allow you to stay safe? What would it mean to live fully and freely?

Things don’t generally get done if we don’t make them a priority. Sometimes we don’t choose what we want to prioritize and end up doing things that aren’t in line with our values or goals. What needs to be let go if in order for something quiet, like peace, to come into the fore?

Deep wisdom here and HARD AF to practice. I read stuff like this- and it feels insurmountable so why try right? But we can open to it in small moments, little bites- taking in what we can without becoming overwhelmed. When we do that we build stamina and stamina allows for more moments to be met with curiosity. We learn that what’s needed is to attend and make space rather than tolerate and tune out.

So much changes when I look at things from this vantagepoint. At the end of the day, they’re just different sides of the same coin. The Punishment/Reward is a concept that’s gotten layered onto the whole cycle and keeps us in a never ending struggle to have one rather than the other. If I’m “good” enough or I’d better not be “bad” and all the permutations in-between are all different ways of clinging to pleasure & aversion towards pain. If it looks like Samsara and smells like Samsara…. well then it’s probably Samsara.

When I can let go a bit, then it’s so much less personal. It’s just the normal ups and downs of life. I don’t have to become anything different. I just need to surrender, let go or maybe I see things clearly and change some behavior, but can the change come without the delusion that we can live only on one side of the coin?

This one’s a mic drop. Better to leave it with your heart’s yearning.