What future are you writing for your self right now? Is it the one you want?
Than Geoff always emphasized this idea of creating the conditions for meditation, insight, ease. It’s something that has stuck with me- it’s so easy to fall into the wanting.
If i want the blissy and spacious states- when the do start to arise, then my tendency is to chase them or try to make them bigger. It reinforces the pattern of wanting and not wanting in the mind. When I come at it from this attitude of creating conditions it shifts the effort.
The states can arise and expand because I”m clearing the way for them. They exist naturally in the heart and mind. From this place- it’s easier to touch into the “just being” aspect of practice.
I’m still riding the wake of this weekend’s Somatic Experiencing training- and this one is really resonating for me. We think we’re figuring things out and making decisions based on logic and choice.
What I’m seeing more and more is the underlying influence (sometimes subtle sometimes not so) and direction that comes through the body and the nervous system.
It’s good to remember that this biological system that I call “Kathy” wants to “right” itself. It’s designed to navigate back towards balance. Then we can look at all the ways we get in the way of that process
This baby is a bit of a mic drop. Read it a few times and see if you can rest into it before drawing lines to your own specific details.
Always good to reflect on how difficulty can make us stronger when we meet it with the right attitude.
Deceleration was an elusive learning for me for many years. It was becoming more in touch with my felt sense that helped me do it. I started to see that, when I wasn’t “doing” there would be this horrible sucking sensation like I was being pulled backwards or downward into some morass of stuckness. Who wouldn’t rev up the engine to get away from that right?
When I started to have the capability to be with and be curious about those sensations- realize that they weren’t lasting, weren’t “me”, I was better able to ride that wave. Little by little I could find that sense of resting in the moment. I could hang out a bit longer before I’d feel that impulse to do something.
Where are you feeling stuck? What was the stability portion of that? And when did it shift?
BONUS ROUND!! Where do you feel that in your body? What is the direct experience of stuckness like? When we can connect with and physically feel these things that tend to live in our minds as details and thoughts, it can motivate us to make some changes. Stuck hurts. When I can care about that hurt it means that I care about myself. And when we truly care about ourselves we tend to take action to alleviate the pain in our lives.
It can be tough to steer you way out of the deeper patterns and grooves that we get locked into.
They’re well worn by time and repetition and though we can feel ourselves bump into the edges at times there’s a sense of tracking and familiarity there. The word groove can be positive or negative. I don’t think we have to blow that up necessarily- but I do think it’s worth it to ask if they’re really serving us. Are we seeing the ocean from a distance when we could be playing in the waves? Listening to the same song over and over? Are we settling for something that’s not really (or is no longer) satisfying?
I’m not suggesting that we need peak experiences 24-7. That would be exhausting and maintaining it would be a nightmare! But do you have the courage to ask the question?
I looked outside today- and saw the gray trudge ahead, thought of soggy shoes, damp clothes, frizzy hair— It’s May right? Not March! It didn’t exactly fire me up to go teach my class.
As I was walking over I realized how much mental and physical bandwidth I had been frittering away with the resistance. Tensing against the chill, feeling the tightness in my shoulders from that. It’s the weather- It’s not like I have a lot of control right?
Surrendering to the fact that “it’s like this: allowed me to let go of the struggle and just meet my day and the people in it with more ease and with all my resources. It’s still cold and wet but there’s no second arrow of struggle.
Clarifying questions can be powerful ways to get to the “thing under the thing”. Whatever “thing” I find myself wanting after- tangible of ephemeral- there’s something under it, a way I want to feel.
When I can get to that, there’s more clarity around how to proceed. Often times I’ll see that the felt sense I’m looking for doesn’t really need to come from the thing, but is available independently or from multiple sources. It’s actually available now.
Seeing that takes the pressure off “getting” the thing and a sense of freedom and play moves into the process. Creativity flows, I see doors that are open rather than the ones that are closed. It’s one frelection of the Freedom that we’re looking for. Not Freedom itself- but a signpost along the path.
If you’re used to the stick, why not try the carrot?